Don't kill yourself

Just watched Anna Akana's video where she talked about her sister's suicide and the emotional scar it had left her was indescribably painful and heart wrenching, I ended bawling my eyes out even though I had never lost a loved one because of suicide... And I absolutely admire her courage to put herself out there to talk about this huge issue - one that's the third leading cause of death among teenagers. I feel like I'm incredibly stupid and ignorant that a few years back, I would ask myself why would people want to actually commit suicide???? There is so much to live for, so many things we haven't seen and experienced, so many opportunities to take up and so many dreams to fulfill. It would all be wasted, wouldn't it? I hadn't thought of things like depression, addictions, bankruptcy and so many other things I had no knowledge of. Obviously I don't know of many social matters raised up on the news but one thing I know of is that killing yourself is a permanent way to end a temporary problem and I wouldn't even say it's a solution because of all the unnecessary confusion and emotional trauma your family, friends and people who love and care about you have to go through everyday of their lives. They have to cope with what you've left them with. It's totally not worth it at all. Even if you think you're at your lowest, please ask for help from anyone, you don't deserve to go through this alone. You are loved and if you dare say someone doesn't care about you that no one would even care if you actually didn't exist, you're wrong. Think again. I care about you and you can talk to me if you like via my tumblr - http://frithe.tumblr.com/ I know i'm not good with words but as long as I helped one of you, I don't mind spending more time on this post.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living." Romans 14:79

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Sem break part 2 Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

11 bucks and a wrong drink order but oh well their latte and mocha tasted similar so 

This week has been great (only halfway through though), did some café hopping and met up with Jan and went to quite a lot of places. Somehow I love to go to new places and do some exploring and take some pictures as well. Went to Bukit Merah specially to check out the family thrift store but ugh the clothes were pretty old-fashioned and it wasn't to our liking so we kinda just wasted our time and effort walking all the way there. Because it was still early, we decided to visit The Bakery Chef and just chilled and I really enjoyed it x

Met Jan again on Wednesday and we headed to Holland Village because of the popular soft-serve dessert sold at Sunday Folks so we took some pictures around the place and reached at 12PM and two waiters a few cafes away were looking at our direction and I was like "they must be thinking we're so desperate to be the first customers" because we were seated at their benches when they weren't even opened yet. We then realised that it only opens at 4PM so yeah they basically thought we were dorks aha but it's okay, we found a really crowded cafe called Baker & Cook. "The best moments are the unplanned ones that just happen but make your day perfect." Totally true. It's nestled in a secluded housing estate and it sells a wide variety of bread, cakes and other Western food and ah I really loved the ambience. (Plus the person taking our orders had an adorable accent) After having lots of chit chat time and stuff we went back to Jcube and ice-skated!!!!!!!! Even though the rink was so full, we still went. Better take a chance than never, right? So I was still a little awkward but I did improve by a lot compared to almost 3 years back!!! Was trying to be like those kinda rough ice hockey players but I fell. Even ended up with 2 blisters and aches but I guess it was worth the skate.

Also had my backbone check-up and my mum accompanied me and I kinda made her go to CBTL with me and I had my much-craved frap yum! Finally revamped my blog and added a new playlist hope you like it! Loving Jasmine Thompson so much x

Cruisin' and bruisin'

Hi welcome onboard to Superstar Gemini 〜(^∇^〜）

 “Being on a boat that's moving through the water, it's so clear. Everything falls into place in terms of what's important and what's not.” James Taylor *deep reflection in progress while casually posing for the camera*

Take me back to deck 12 please!

 The view when having our meals at Dynasty

Hello i'm finally back from my study cruise!!!!!!!!!! (Not like I was gone for many days, just 4D3N but it's long enough for you to miss me) So the cruise was quite a new experience really. Wasn't very excited initially but the thought of taking pale-themed pictures and the incredible scenery of the waters got me all hyped up!!! The breeze was just amazing and I could feel it caressing my face and on my feet, taking it all in. Shared a cabin with my roomie, Wei Yun and wow the bed was so comfy and I could fall asleep lying there within 5 minutes. Basically we had a lot of free time to do our own activities and spent 1/4 time doing work so it was more of a holiday trip to me (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

Stopped by at Penang and Langkawi and briefly toured around Park Royal hotel and Berjaya resort and the casino and had our buffet lunch there. Did some shopping too but only bought some snacks, nothing much there actually. Also got to watch performances every night and we got front row seats 2/3 times! There was a crew dance done by 3 divas who were guys cross-dressing as females and oh gosh it was so uncomfortable and hilarious at the same time. Also watched the Brazilian show ah the guys were really hot and dreamy looking just saying. Wanted to watch the sunrise but didn't really manage to, was way too exhausted to get up at 6AM. Gala night was alright, preparation was kinda chaotic but we had full course fine dining at Bella Vista and I had salmon with wasabi sauce and shrimp pasta and chocolate lava cake which I kindly said I would skip it twice to the waiter but he still served me???????? But honestly I loved the cruise because of their excellent service!!! The crew was mostly very friendly and they would always greet everyone with a smile. Plus I ate a lot during the whole cruise, imagine 3-4 meals a day - all you can eat buffet and occasional full course meals ~(⊕⌢⊕)~ Atmosphere was also very friendly and homey, felt at ease. 

So thankful to have this opportunity to go on this trip with my course mates subsidised heavily by my school and i'm so glad that I enjoyed myself.

Went to Lola's Cafe located at Kovan with Chia Lynn and Cheyenne as well, was great to talk to them after like 3 months??? Was told that it was a 1.5h wait but thank God it was only .5h but it was worth it! Food was awesome and price was reasonable too!!!! Also had an overnight cyclist event called Ride For Rainbows 2 days before and we didn't really do our jobs, just fell asleep on the bus but our IC was so nice! And attended my dearest neighbour, Li Ping's 21st birthday party at Chevron with my class and did last minute gift shopping.

Listening to christmas songs 2 months earlier, why not? Guess that's all, goodnight!!!!

Sem break part 1 ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ

Made strawberry popsicles flecked with blackberries and blueberries last night. Could feel some seeds but other than that, it tasted rather nice.

Yay to cereal mag issue 7 (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

Went for a class outing with 03 this afternoon and took bus 402 with Rasiya and we actually took the wrong bus even though the lady at the front desk of the financial building said we could. It was a picnic at Marina Barrage but at level 2, not the grassy fields and we had pizza, sushi, doritos, crackers, grapes and soda etc. Surprisingly, this bonding session was sponsored by SP so a maximum of $200 can be reimbursed for whatever food we buy. Not all came, attendance was 14/20. Played truth or dare and aha it was nice to spend more time with my classmates. Went up to the top level with Doris, Wei Yun, Chao Lei, Rasiya and Tricia and I managed to use my picnic mat yay. Took pictures, ate, chatted, and also screamed at the top of our lungs at the jetty (to relieve stress) we weren't psychotic okay but yeah people looked at us from a distance.

Went out with Rasiya in our gym clothes and we didn't even go to gym because laziness kicked in. Went to Jcube and watched people ice-skate and we're thinking of ice-skating after the cruise even though i've no skills/basic knowledge of how to. Met at Jem because I wanted to get a dress for gala night but I ended up buying a gold headpiece to match with my sister's white toga. Also got to buy a pair of jeans and socks yay #retail therapy is really satisfying ≧◡≦ Was great to talking to her (n˘v˘•)¬

Past week has been entirely spent with my parents because they weren't working due to market cleaning and yes I think i'll gain loads of weight when they're around because i'll be fed with plenty of food. On a side note, I got to go to Carpenter and Cook with my mum for breakfast too and I really enjoy spending time with her one to one. Doesn't matter where we are headed to, even accompanying me to JMC for my dental appointment or grocery shopping and having tea are really simple but they make my heart feel warm and fuzzy.

Will be seeing my grandma tomorrow with my parents and also to some HDB office hopefully there's a showroom at Toa Payoh. And i'll be going to a dog cafe with Wei Yun, Doris and Chao Lei on Friday. Saturday will be packing day for my cruise which lasts for 4 days. Will update after that x

Results are out

The constant fear, panic, worry, anxiety and paranoia. It's not worth going through all these, is it?

Insomnia. Not being able to sleep and feeling so helpless because what's done is done and there is nothing you can do to change the grades but only pray. 

The stress you get from the expectations you've to uphold not only from your parents but yourself, the intense competitive spirit you've to face in class and also amongst friends and relatives. 

"No comparison" but really? The amount of pressure and fear I was feeling, how incapable I felt was just horrible and I never want to experience it again. But thank God for answering my prayers. The peace of God which transcends all understanding guards my mind and heart and his perfect love casts out my fears. Yes I can rely on Him and He is indeed in control of all situations and nothing can surpass that. All glory to God x

Boy's 6th birthday

I guess I wanna do this every post where I upload a picture of a dish/drink i've made. Can be however simple. For today's it's toasted multigrain sandwiches and mango + kiwi ice-blended.

Hello today was a really fruitful day where I got to spend 2+ hours of my monotonous boring old afternoon with Wei Ling and Janelle at Little Part One cafe located in a hidden spot of Ang Mo Kio (which took me so long to travel) didn't know it was at Thomson Plaza area, could've taken 52. Anyway it was a really nice session where we got to talk to Wei Ling about her encounters with God through her testimony and she answered our quirky and also profound questions we had relating to Christ and cell group etc. Learnt a lot from it and i'm really thankful to have her as our cell leader. She also revealed to us her age and I had to take quite some time for it to finally sink in (it was quite shocking) but then it made sense because she looked really young. She also gave us secondhand Christian books, the one i'm currently holding onto is titled Walking With God. Hoping this season would bring about significant spiritual growth and health; and I would emulate a more godly behaviour and lifestyle that Wei Ling possesses.

Forgot to mention that we were also half an hour late and I felt bad considering the fact that I reached Ang Mo Kio 10 minutes later than I should.

Friday was spent with Jan at Sentosa. Watched The Maze Runner featuring the really stunning Dylan O'Brien and cute-looking Ki Hong Lee (✿◠‿◠) was kinda good in my opinion although it resembles so much like The Hunger Games and Divergent.

Also got to video tape Siloso beach and other places. And after much effort (having to carry around the heavy camera) i've finally compiled all the shots and edited them and also added a cute upbeat ukulele song to it. Ta da!!!!!! Presenting to you a 1:56 minute YouTube video i've made even though the first half of it was shaky.

Had sandwiches, sushi and doritos by the beach and Jan was really nice to walk to Macs to help me buy a cup of refreshing iced milo because I was really thirsty and lazy. Thank you if you're reading this!!!

Wanted to talk about this in a separate post but i've not much to say: went to Animal Lovers League with Jan on Wednesday to volunteer. Walked in and all the dogs surrounded us *so loved* but at the same time I was kinda afraid because they were initially barking but it subsided after a while. Was planning to act like Cesar Milan no. 2 but I failed because I was already struggling to handle 2 big dogs at once (much bigger than Boy, I can assure you) they had such great strength and yeap, was glad to be able to spread some love and affection to them knowing that they are being kept there for probably their whole lives.

Talking about dogs, Boy's birthday was on Friday and I got him this cute little cake from Pet Safari in Vivo. He really liked it (duh, he loves all food except for tomatoes) So there, happy 6th birthday Boy!!!!!!!!!! You've been such a great blessing to our family, this additional joy you've brought us is beyond what I can even describe because my english sucks and my love for you will forever be eternal and everlasting. Love how you greet me with squeaky barks and a wiggly bum and a mad dash to the door whenever I come home like as if you haven't seen me in months. And how I can cuddle with you during cold and rainy days to steal your warmth. Love you even though you've done many unforgivable things but also because you don't mind what I say to you and how I don't bring you for frequent walks but you still adore me and treat me the same xxx

Tomorrow will be spent with my cell group at church and bonding time at PlayNation so goodbye because it's late x

Exploring Haji Lane and more

Today was rather eventful I guess? Went to 3 places in total. Met Jan at Jurong East and had a simple lunch at Bugis and we talked and missed her a lot because I haven't seen her in 3 weeks!!! Always a joy hanging out with her xxx

Originally planned to get some clothes but we are picky shoppers and in 20 minutes time, we walked out empty-handed but I already had an assumption that we weren't getting anything somehow, just didn't really like the things sold there and I wasn't unhappy that I didn't manage to get anything. Also headed to Haji Lane and Arab Street; wanted to video tape the street art and buildings and everything and I did! The camera was really bulky though but I guess it was worth the hassle bringing it out. Looked and felt like a total tourist. And then we got to Orchard Central to have our much craved churros and coffee frappe!!!! First time trying it and it wasn't that bad, tasted a little similar to 油條. Just chilling and talking are my two favourite things to do when i'm out with friends of course it would be perfect with the addition of food. Food therapy > retail therapy (▰˘◡˘▰)

Personally thought that this graffiti work is kinda creepy plus there were rubbish bins so I only took half her face #artistic

Introducing chicken noodle soup placed on a really deceptive and nice background which is a catalogue - wish my house looked like that. Always down for homecooked food because it just gives me this really warm and fuzzy feeling and it's cost-saving.

Also tried out Byron's cookie cup recipe yesterday and it failed miserably. The cookie dough sunk to the bottom of the cup because I forgot that the dough would expand and I made it too thick!! Plus the cookie is still stuck in the cup. Never gonna bake anything like that again. #once bitten twice shy

Hung out with Chang Ting on Wednesday at West Gate and last time I saw her was like a few months back during our term break! Had lunch at Hot Tomato and ice-cream at Gelato; was generally really nice to see her. Same old same old, nothing has changed much about her. Hope to see her soon though.

Gonna gym tomorrow again but i'm starting to lack the motivation already. Churros + ice-cream + frappe look at all the weight i've gained and not ready to lose. But yeah can't wait for next Wednesday + Friday; will be going to the animal shelter and Sentosa! And also i'm so excited because I just ordered my Cereal magazine issue 7 like 2 days ago and it's not very cheap but it's definitely worth the price knowing how good their quality is and the visual hook it has. Plus today I commented on Rich Stapleton's instagram picture and he replied me and even liked one of my photos I got so happy because of that. Yeah I get cheery easily, same goes the opposite. Till next time x